This is an issue that seems to pop up again and again in northern Indiana. With President George W. Bush scheduled to appear at a fundraiser for 2nd-District Republican Chris Chocola on Thursday (2/23), it seems like a good time to honor “The Count” with his own word:

chocola (n) [chawk-Oh-la] One who advocates shifting avoidable financial burdens on to the general taxpayer.

If you’re unfamiliar with the situation, here’s how the Elkhart Truth described Bush’s planned visit:

However, it’s not good for the taxpayers of the city of Mishawaka, who will have to foot the overtime bill for additional security for Bush’s trip. With cities like Mishawaka in a financial bind to begin with, it isn’t fair to ask them to shoulder an unplanned burden like a presidential visit when average residents will see no benefit from the trip. There are no announced public events thus far. [emphasis added.]

The important nuance of “chocola” is that it is a completely unnecessary expense (e.g., a private fundraiser instead as opposed to food) shifted onto the taxpayers. So the next time someone pulls out a Reagan-era “welfare queen” reference, be sure to counter with a “chocola Congressmen” quip of your own.

A self-proclaimed fireworks aficionado, Weatherwax counts himself among the few Hoosiers dedicated enough to procure the special state license needed to legally engage in back-yard pyrotechnics. He makes a personal sacrifice, too.

“I stop drinking beer at noon,” Weatherwax said, drawing laughter from the committee.

What time does he start drinking?

Besides, Lawson said, by law Indiana’s bars must remain closed as long as the polls are open. Later voting hours would mean the bars would be closed longer, she said.

Which brings us to our word of the day:

dutton (v) [duh-tuhn] To shirk political responsibility for the sake of chemical pleasures.

This term originates from the classic character of Dutton Peabody in the classic John Ford western The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Peabody (portrayed in the film by Edmond O’Brien) is the often-intoxicated editor of the Shinbone Star. In a memorable scene, he pleads to end the territorial delegate election so that the bar can be reopened.

I predict that in the early part of the 21st century, “dutton” will be slowly replaced in popular usage by “lawson”, as illustrated: “I can’t believe the Representative is lawsoning instead of voting!”

cyify (v) [see-if-I] To unnecessarily add the -cy ending to create a noun, usually in an effort to seem more academic.

Common examples of cyification are “Normalcy” and “Relevancy.”

“Normalcy” originated in a mathematical sense before it was popularized by President Harding as a description of his for his foreign policy. While it has recently gained acceptance in American English, it is still “widely scorned” in British usage, according to the OED.

(1929) G. N. CLARK in S.P.E. Tract XXXIII. 417: “If…‘normalcy’ is ever to become an accepted word it will presumably be because the late President Harding did not know any better.”

There is no return to normalcy, unless you’re embracing Harding’s foreign policy. You can return to normal, or even to normality. “Normalness” is even an accepted noun. So please… no more “normalcy.”

“Relevancy” is a mostly archaic British legal term for the quality of being relevant. (Again, thank you OED.)

So… if you’re not a 17th century barrister, just say “relevance.” Thank you.

:::EXTRA_NERDY ALERT::::

From the OED on the proper application of -cy:

Partly used to form new words, partly to refashion earlier words in -ance, expressing quality. If the L. diligentia, elegantia, temperantia, prudentia, were now for the first time adopted as Eng., they would be made diligency, elegancy, temperancy, prudency; they owe their existing forms in -nce, to the fact that they were adopted from Fr., long before -ncy came into use. But many words, once like these, have been refashioned, and now appear with -ncy; e.g. constancy, infancy, piquancy, vacancy; the modern tendency being to confine -nce to action, and to express quality or state by -ncy; cf. compliance, pliancy, annoyance, buoyancy.

So cyification is a real process. I just coin the terms, people.

infactuation. (n) [in-fackt-you-A-shun] The act of attaching seemingly irrelevant facts to an otherwise unsupportable conclusion. Often used to defend the knowledge described as “truthy”.

For example, this fundraising letter by Rep. John Doolittle (R-CA):

“Make no mistake about it,” Doolittle wrote. “The liberal media wants the Democrats back in control of Congress. They don’t like conservatives. They don’t like President Bush, and they don’t like what we stand for. They will stop at nothing to accomplish their goal.”

Doolittle is employing two layers of infactuation here. First is the idea of the liberal media. Putting aside the fact that this “fact” has been, to my mind, demolished beyond repair, it isn’t relevant to the fact that he’s being investigated by the Bush Justice Department for his documented connections to Jack Abramoff. Second, he commingles his own standing with that of the President. Even if the liberal media hates the President, it isn’t relevant to their inquiries into the Congressman’s dealings. Doolittle’s objective is to portray himself as a victim of a wide-ranging liberal conspiracy, but he can’t muster any evidence to show this.

The forecast for the 2006 election cycle: constant infactuation, with a chance of lies.

For example: “Did you see the way he was escalading down Kirkwood in that 1983 Ford Escort?

Ms. NW’s students continue to confuse the word “escalade” with “escalate.” I think they might be smarter than we thought. They’re actually reviving (albeit in incorrect usage) a term that hasn’t really been used in the last, oh, 150 years or so. But it means “[verb]-trans. To climb up and get over or enter (a wall, rampart, etc.) by means of ladders; to scale.” Thanks, OED.